We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Never joke about your clitoris.
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