I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
