You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
