if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize