Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it was like eating out sand paper
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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