Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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