i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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