Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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