In the future we'll all be gay
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
