dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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