Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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