she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
