Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
