i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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