he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Randomize