I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
