so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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