I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
birth control should be required to get into college
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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