I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
