We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize