I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
