She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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