I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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