Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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