Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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