does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
