i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
