Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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