I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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