Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
