dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
