dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Everyone says I win the strip club
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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