everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
