Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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