I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
