i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
