The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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