Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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