She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Couch. On fire.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
