After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
