shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
