I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
