oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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