I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
