Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
