I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
