Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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