Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize