White coat. Heels.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
