Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
