Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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