Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize