im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize