Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
