She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize