Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
