Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
