In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Found your dick twin last night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize