The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
