I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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