I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
