:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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